I started running consistently in 2012, As anyone who runs can confirm, it’s addictive and soon I really looked forward to hitting the river trail where I live, blasting the music on my hot pink iPod Shuffle and letting my mind wander wherever it needed to go while I ran. Every incline I would attack like a beast, stretching out my stride. Yesss! Now I have zero desire to run a marathon, but I ran 2-3 miles and loved it. So in 2013, when a friend asked me if I wanted to run a race with her and some other women, I eagerly said yes. It was in San Francisco, a 5K through the mud. Sounds fun, I’m in! We even had a cute team name and matching outfits picked out! And then something unexpected happened…I didn’t want to run anymore. Every morning I’d hit the trail like I had shown up for a death march. The hills were painful. (Were there this many before?? How are they adding hills to the river trail??) I found myself constantly mindful of the distance. (Where is the next mile marker?? Why is it so far away??) My shoes wouldn’t stayed tied. My Shuffle would only work intermittently. And my ear buds kept popping out of my ears. What happened?
What happened was I hadn’t been mindful of my motivation, of what was fueling my running. For me, running was almost a meditative state. I chose a familiar path and ran the same distance almost every day. The repetition freed my mind to ponder whatever was floating around in there, to process what was hung up and what, like my feet, needed to move. It was a solitary time that I had carved out for myself in a life that is filled with people. It was time alone, in nature, where I could feel part of the environment and at peace. The minute I introduced competition to the mix, all that peace was gone…and so was my love for running. And honestly, here we are in 2014 and it still hasn’t fully returned. Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be a competitive girl. Anyone who went to grad school with me has seen this in action. There’s a reason my diploma says, “With Distinction.” (What??? An A-??? A MINUS?? I’m talking to the professor…) But that was not what was motivating my run and I didn’t honor that. And this is an important “distinction” (See what I did there? *wink,wink*). We are successful in meeting our goals when we understand what’s motivating them. What is your “why” behind anything you do or want to achieve? Finishing your degree. Losing weight. Moving forward in your career or changing careers. Having fulfilling relationships with others. Whatever it is that you want, but are finding it difficult to stay the course, take a moment to look at your “whys.” Maybe I’m not losing weight because my motivation isn’t inspiring at a deep level. Yes, we all want to look better at our class reunion, but that “why” may set you up to resent every calorie NOT eaten (and the people you are NOT eating those calories for) because it is not a motivation that feeds your soul. Take a look at any part of your life where you feel stuck. where you say you want something, but aren’t making much progress moving in that direction. Look at the why underneath it. What is your real motivation? And if you discover it’s a why that is uninspiring, can you change it? Let’s look at losing weight again. Does it shift for you to trade in the why of trying to impress others with your appearance and instead hold on to the why of taking care of your body because you are beautiful just the way you are and deserve a long and healthy life? Take some time to get better acquainted with yourself by really examining what is fueling everything you do. Live true to you by embracing the “whys” that are true to your higher self. That’s where success lives. Thanks for reading…gotta run. 😉 |
Month: September 2014
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
So here’s what happened…after spending two hours (TWO HOURS!) writing and editing my blog post, I began searching for a pic to go with the post, like I usually do, and the first one I chose didn’t sit right in the post format. It was huge! So, I tried resizing it, but that didn’t work well so I just deleted it and it disappeared…along with my well written blog post on choosing to be a victor instead of a victim. Seriously. All two hours of work. Gone. Forever. And now, I am out of the time I have allotted for writing; all my other responsibilities call…which I will be attending to while wailing and gnashing my teeth. So, in the meantime, since a lot of you are new to Live True and probably have a life that doesn’t involve reading all my past blog posts, let’s revisit an oldie, but a goodie, shall we? If you need me, I’ll be in the fetal position, lamenting the vagaries of technology. Enjoy.
Revolutionary Love You have worth because you carry within you Today, let’s stop looking to other flawed human beings for validation of our worth. We see each other with such limited vision that there is no way that it can be an accurate measure. It’s like trying to take the temperature with a yardstick. Ain’t gonna happen. |
Poetic Peace
The last few weeks have been filled with work, change and and personal growth. which is good for the most part, but has been a lot all at once. I feel a bit scattered and disorganized, like a sudden onset of adult ADD. So to give myself a moment to breathe and to regain a bit of peace, I am sharing a poetry post. Some of these may be familiar, but warranted a second look and some are new. Enjoy and thanks for your understanding.
You Falling Madly in Love
experience a moment of bliss
the blessings of the gods
the main difference between
Cupid’s choreography
and to lose one’s head
deserves your total devotion
For all of us, art is
the gratitude we feel.
As if by design
you have secured more than beauty
often the difference between
mysteries of the human heart
and an impulsive desire
is a matter of perspective
Conjure up a world, gift wrapped
with a few surprises of your own.
Rejoice
It takes a brave woman to release one’s heart.
The greatness you celebrate in pretty things:
handle with care.
It is our pursuit of happiness
that deserves close examination.
More should have said, love yourself.
Not all your belongings belong to you.
The woman sitting next to Cinderella
is never satisfied. What makes you
loveable will take you by surprise.
Many things are possible;
each asking for your attention in their own way.
Luck is as feminine as a premonition.
Don’t strive to be merely beautiful
when you are destined to be regal,
captivating, an amazing soul.
The harmonious gesture of the morning
befriends you. Think
of what will happen for a woman
who holds her courage
in the palm of her heart.
Whenever I Dream of You
The stars shine
in the purple melted sky
as I lean over a well
blowing ripples
into the still water, pushing
the oceans to their edges.
Ships slip out to sea
with regrets sewn into their sails.
Wishes too, maybe,
There’s just too many rules
here among the waves,
but the fish don’t mind
the time or the way
your fingers snap impatiently.
Hate whom you need to hate.
Love the rest like the fragile bones
inside a sand dollar.
Spin your teeth
to say pleasing things
if you must.
I see your truth
like a green worm hidden
on a tomato plant
when it trembles
and the smell of black earth
replaces the air in your lungs.
It’s the last note
played on the piano
in the last house
you lived in the last time
you were loved. Do you
remember that far back?
A hand like a blanket fort
closes around yours.
Even with the mask on, you know
the hand will always be mine.
The carousel spins behind us.
Bright horses invite us to ride
but, although the music
is impossible,
we choose to dance instead.
The smallest key fits silently
into the lock with a click
hushed by the sunlight
snaking through the places
not neatly tied shut.
I move through the murky,
swamp-filled desires
that linger here,
drenching the hem of my white dress.
But I know the warmth is all I need.
I tap my foot
like a voodoo curse
against the church bells, chiming
from the place that is real.
and I awake
in our bed
blinking at you
stretched out next to me.
I whisper into your sleeping ear,
I miss the carousel.
Live True To You 