Knowing Why

I started running consistently in 2012, As anyone who runs can confirm, it’s addictive and soon I really looked forward to hitting the river trail where I live, blasting the music on my hot pink iPod Shuffle and letting my mind wander wherever it needed to go while I ran. Every incline I would attack like a beast, stretching out my stride. Yesss! Now I have zero desire to run a marathon, but I ran 2-3 miles and loved it. So in 2013, when a friend asked me if I wanted to run a race with her and some other women, I eagerly said yes. It was in San Francisco, a 5K through the mud. Sounds fun, I’m in! We even had a cute team name and matching outfits picked out! And then something unexpected happened…I didn’t want to run anymore. Every morning I’d hit the trail like I had shown up for a death march. The hills were painful. (Were there this many before?? How are they adding hills to the river trail??) I found myself constantly mindful of the distance. (Where is the next mile marker?? Why is it so far away??) My shoes wouldn’t stayed tied. My Shuffle would only work intermittently. And my ear buds kept popping out of my ears. What happened? What happened was I hadn’t been mindful of my motivation, of what was fueling my running. For me, running was almost a meditative state. I chose a familiar path and ran the same distance almost every day. The repetition freed my mind to ponder whatever was floating around in there, to process what was hung up and what, like my feet, needed to move. It was a solitary time that I had carved out for myself in a life that is filled with people. It was time alone, in nature, where I could feel part of the environment and at peace. The minute I introduced competition to the mix, all that peace was gone…and so was my love for running. And honestly, here we are in 2014 and it still hasn’t fully returned. Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be a competitive girl. Anyone who went to grad school with me has seen this in action. There’s a reason my diploma says, “With Distinction.” (What??? An A-??? A MINUS?? I’m talking to the professor…) But that was not what was motivating my run and I didn’t honor that. And this is an important “distinction” (See what I did there? *wink,wink*). We are successful in meeting our goals when we understand what’s motivating them. What is your “why” behind anything you do or want to achieve? Finishing your degree. Losing weight. Moving forward in your career or changing careers. Having fulfilling relationships with others. Whatever it is that you want, but are finding it difficult to stay the course, take a moment to look at your “whys.” Maybe I’m not losing weight because my motivation isn’t inspiring at a deep level. Yes, we all want to look better at our class reunion, but that “why” may set you up to resent every calorie NOT eaten (and the people you are NOT eating those calories for) because it is not a motivation that feeds your soul. Take a look at any part of your life where you feel stuck. where you say you want something, but aren’t making much progress moving in that direction. Look at the why underneath it. What is your real motivation? And if you discover it’s a why that is uninspiring, can you change it? Let’s look at losing weight again. Does it shift for you to trade in the why of trying to impress others with your appearance and instead hold on to the why of  taking care of your body because you are beautiful just the way you are and deserve a long and healthy life? Take some time to get better acquainted with yourself by really examining what is fueling everything you do. Live true to you by embracing the “whys” that are true to your higher self. That’s where success lives. Thanks for reading…gotta run. 😉