Fear and I have been spending some time together recently.
I am at a point in my career where there is a biiiiig next step that I have to prepare for and so Fear has packed a bag and come for a visit. Now, I don’t know about you, but whenever Fear and I hang out, we have a few activities that are always on the agenda; things like, rarely sleeping through the night, eating sugary foods like they are all about to be banned from the planet, constant internal self doubt banter and worst of all, paralysis…the everything is on pause paralysis…the all I want to do is hole up in my bed and read trashy novels paralysis…the life itself is overwhelming paralysis…the pull to stay exactly where I am in this moment forever paralysis…
I know. Fear is a bit rambly when it gets going. I think it doesn’t feel heard and so it engages in a babblefest.
So, I listen to my Fear. And even sometimes agree. Yes, I might fail. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it is scary. But…
I’m going to do it anyway.
That’s the antidote. Listen and do it anyway. We cannot wait for the Fear to go away before we begin. That’s like saying, “I’m going to wait until I learn to breathe underwater before I go swimming.” Never gonna happen. You have to hold your breath and dive in. Trust that you already possess all that’s needed to make it to the other shore. Yes, you’ll have to come up for air sometimes. That’s not a weakness or a fault. It’s part of the process, figuring out your limitations and making accommodations for them…and then continuing on. That’s the gig with swimming and that’s the gig with Fear too. Acknowledge and continue on. If you don’t keep kicking, you’ll start to sink. And that’s what Fear wants-no forward motion. For Fear, the future is a big, scary boogeyman and it erroneously believes that if we’re paralyzed, if we somehow freeze in this moment forever, the future will never get here. It’s a fairytale, but Fear is very superstitious.
So on the days that Fear is whispering in my ear, “Of course we need to study, but it’s so much! Where do we even start? How about we watch one episode of Supernatural first or read one more chapter in Lionheart? I mean, you just got to the good part! And besides, what’s the rush? It’s going to take months. At least wait until that pit in your stomach goes away. You seem really anxious. Are there any more cookies in the house?”, I acknowledge that Fear is here for a visit and that it’s along for the trip. I can’t wait for it to go before I start. That day will never come. I move forward. I keep kicking.
I hope that’s what you decide to do too. Live true to you by charting your course to the other shore, no matter that the voice says it’s too hard or that you might fail. Do it anyway…and maybe throw some salt over your shoulder for luck…just in case.
Live True To You 